MY MUSE IS IN HOSPITAL AND IS COMATOSE. SEND ME “ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE” FOR MY MUSES REACTION TO WAKING UP TO FIND YOUR MUSE AT THEIR BEDSIDE.
Pain. Darkness. That was all she understood, and everything she remembered. How long had she been here? At times it felt like only moments, but at others it felt like a lifetime or more. But then there was the question… Did she actually know and understand how to measure time? Time. The concept slipped through her mind, slippery and intangible. Not as easily understood as pain.
Some moments there was light, but it was mostly dark. And she was alone. She knew that because during the brief moments where light illuminated the world around her she saw monsters. Things she couldn’t name that looked more mechanical and dangerous than anything she had a name for. Some looked like her, their eyes glassy and terrifying, their expressions wild.
She struggled against them all in the darkness, praying for a miracle, crying out as their nails dug into her skin and ripped her to pieces. No matter how hard she fought they continued to swarm her, burying her in thick pile of rotting carcasses. Sometimes she even heard them whispering her name, demanding her death.
Nails dug into her sides and she screamed. Her eyes widened as the pain tore through her body, spreading its fire through her bloodstream. The world burst into a haze of white, and she gasped for breath, tubes running across her body. Chest heaving for air, she brought her hands to her face and tugged at the tubes beneath her nose and pulled them away from her face. She sat up sharply, pieces of skin on her chest burning as needles and monitors were torn off.
Her name.
Eyes wide with terror she turned to look to her right, one hand pulling out a needle from her other. “Kai…” She whispered, tears welling in her eyes. Relief made the tears pill over, and she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. It was done. It had been nothing more than a nightmare.
She felt her friend embrace her, hands smoothing her hair as the other whispered soft reassurances. Sobbing, she turned and buried her face in Kai’s shoulder, her hands gripping feebly at her uniform. “Don’t leave me, Kai.” Her voice was hoarse from lack of use, but she didn’t care. She had said what she needed to say, and that was all that mattered.
Her hand was pressed to the shuttle’s window, her breath steamed the glass as she stared out into the abyss of space. There was so much emptiness out there, so much nothing that all she could do was frantically scan the darkness praying for a sign of Kai. The Normandy continued to fall to pieces in the darkness, and she watches as another shuttle launches itself into space. Joker’s voice echoed loudly through the tiny escape pod, and her heart sank.
Flames licked at her skin, searing her flesh in permanent marks. She didn’t care. All that mattered was getting these people to safety. Later she could sit down and stare aimlessly at the scars and burns on her arms and wonder what the hell had encouraged her to join the military.
In front of her one of the buildings burned, it’s structure beginning to collapse in on itself as the flames licked at the sky. Inside she could hear the screams and please of the people she hadn’t managed to save, the people who mattered most to her. She could hear Alex’s scream above the rest, and her heart threatened to give out on her.
Alex. The one person in the galaxy who saw her for more than she was. The person who managed to see past the scars she had gained during her time in the gangs, managed to see part the records and harsh words. The man who loved her for herself and not for the scars that lined her body.
Clutching her gun tightly she sighed before turning to the civilians. “We have to barricade ourselves in. We want to funnel them down towards our position so that they’re easier to take out. Does anyone know of an area we can place our wounded?”
Hands went up throughout the group and Juliette bit back a noise of frustration. She’d had to deal with this quickly and carefully if she didn’t want to lose the rest of the civilians. Right now these lives were depending on her, even as they watched the building fall apart and listened to the screams of those trapped.
“Let’s move out.” She murmured quietly, bringing her gun up and lifting her chin.
Alex’s screams continued as she lead the people away from the building, and she closed her eyes for a moment, and locked the scream away. She’d carry that scream with her forever. Even if she forgot his face, or the way his voice sounded in the morning when she woke up next to him, she’d never forget the way his scream sounded above the roar of flames.
“Oi! Charlie Boy!”
The nickname continued to hurt even after she graduated from training. It raked it’s claws down her heart and tore the already fragile muscle a little more. It continued to remind her of her father, and the way he had looked the night he had died, blood pouring from the gunshot, his face pale and white.
She never stopped to tell anyone about that memory. Never told them why she flinched every time she heard those words. All they knew was that the tough as nails cadet flinched when people called her Charlie Boy. And they tortured her with it.
“Get dressed, Charlie Boy!”
“Do you think you’re fucking invincible, Charlie Boy?!”
She had felt sentimental the day she had gotten her father’s nickname tattooed to her shoulder. Pride had sparked to life when she had taken a shower without her bandage for the first time and someone had asked about it. Had loved feeling her father so close to her for the first time in years.
The other cadet’s blood was running down her curled fingers, sinking into the cracks of her fist. She stared down at it, disgust rising in her chest as she stared at the blood. The boy gasped for air beneath her, his hands cupping his bloody nose. His breathing brought back the memories of her father, and she collapsed to the ground.
And then her instructor called her Charlie Boy, grabbing her roughly by the shoulder.
And she had snapped.
At some point his words had sunken into her mind, had turned her against the mission she had started. Changed her, made her into the program I am today.
SEND ME “BLACK BIRD” FOR A DARKER MEMORY OF MY MUSE’S PAST
He stood in front of her, his face dark with rage. She fought to keep the victorious smile off of her face, and failed. He threw the first punch. His fist connected with the bottom of her jaw, and she heard a faint snap. Her fingers curled around each other and she pulled her arm back. Three seconds later he was on the ground and she was on top of him.
Her fist connected with his face over and over. Blood trailed down his face from the nose she had broken and the cuts her nails had accidentally left on him. People were watching. She couldn’t care less. He had hit her for out shooting him. Had sneered at her because she was a woman and could out shoot him. Had hated her because she was better than him and yet lower than the dirt beneath his feet.
She heard the squad leader in the distance telling her to stop, but her fist continued to connect with his face over and over. She felt hands grab her beneath her arms and pull her away, and she slumped against them. All fight left her body, and she glowered at the other cadet as he was helped to his feet. The damage she had done to him was great, and she doubted he’d ever look as handsome as he used to.
“Shepard. Get your ass to the officer’s tent. I want to speak with you." She looked up at her CO and nodded, her jaw pounding with pain. Without turning to look at Alex she stalked her way out of barracks.
SEND ME “BLACK BIRD” FOR A DARKER MEMORY OF MY MUSE’S PAST
Send me “black bird” for a darker memory of my muse’s past
She could smell the burning wood, could taste the smoke on her tongue. Around her the gang pushed and shoved trying to get to the loot. Her hand tightened around her gun and she scowled at the mess in front of her. She hated this place. hated the things she had to do for the people around her, hated the monster she had become for them.
Kai stood beside her, and she turned to her friend and blinked. At least her friend stood beside her, and not someone else. Looking away she looked back over the mess of people scrounging, listened to the laughter and cheers running through the group. She had done this. She had done what they asked for.
She was a murderer.
Letting go of the gun she turned on her heel and walked towards the nearest exit, tears burning her eyes. Twelve people. She had murdered twelve people because the gang leader had asked her to. She had gone in alone, and done it all herself. Nausea and regret collided together in her stomach and as she left the building she turned immediately to the right and ducked into an alley. She heard Kai behind her, felt her friend’s reassuring touch on her shoulder as she vomited.
When she stopped she stood up, her shoulders thrown back. “Kai…”
“Jules.”
“We need to leave." Her friend said nothing, and she turned to stare at her, tears running down her cheeks. She rubbed her hands against her shirt as she continued, "We’re becoming more like them every day Kai. I just killed twelve people. We can’t stay here. Not anymore. We have to leave before we lose ourselves. Before we become monsters…”
Send me “black bird” for a darker memory of my muse’s past
Her father had just gotten home. She knew that because he was still wearing his dress blues, and his hat. He looked older than he usually did, and that scared her. Her father was supposed to be strong and tough, not weak. She wrapped her thin arms around his waist and clung to him, burying her face in his uniform. “I love you, daddy.” She whispered, her tiny voice almost getting lost in his clothing.