MY MUSE IS IN HOSPITAL AND IS COMATOSE. SEND ME “ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE” FOR MY MUSES REACTION TO WAKING UP TO FIND YOUR MUSE AT THEIR BEDSIDE.

Pain. Darkness. That was all she understood, and everything she remembered. How long had she been here? At times it felt like only moments, but at others it felt like a lifetime or more. But then there was the question… Did she actually know and understand how to measure time? Time. The concept slipped through her mind, slippery and intangible. Not as easily understood as pain.

Some moments there was light, but it was mostly dark. And she was alone. She knew that because during the brief moments where light illuminated the world around her she saw monsters. Things she couldn’t name that looked more mechanical and dangerous than anything she had a name for. Some looked like her, their eyes glassy and terrifying, their expressions wild.

She struggled against them all in the darkness, praying for a miracle, crying out as their nails dug into her skin and ripped her to pieces. No matter how hard she fought they continued to swarm her, burying her in thick pile of rotting carcasses. Sometimes she even heard them whispering her name, demanding her death.

Nails dug into her sides and she screamed. Her eyes widened as the pain tore through her body, spreading its fire through her bloodstream. The world burst into a haze of white, and she gasped for breath, tubes running across her body. Chest heaving for air, she brought her hands to her face and tugged at the tubes beneath her nose and pulled them away from her face. She sat up sharply, pieces of skin on her chest burning as needles and monitors were torn off. 

Her name.

Eyes wide with terror she turned to look to her right, one hand pulling out a needle from her other. “Kai…” She whispered, tears welling in her eyes. Relief made the tears pill over, and she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. It was done. It had been nothing more than a nightmare. 

She felt her friend embrace her, hands smoothing her hair as the other whispered soft reassurances. Sobbing, she turned and buried her face in Kai’s shoulder, her hands gripping feebly at her uniform. “Don’t leave me, Kai.” Her voice was hoarse from lack of use, but she didn’t care. She had said what she needed to say, and that was all that mattered.

 Flames licked at her skin, searing her flesh in permanent marks. She didn’t care. All that mattered was getting these people to safety. Later she could sit down and stare aimlessly at the scars and burns on her arms and wonder what the hell had encouraged her to join the military.

 In front of her one of the buildings burned, it’s structure beginning to collapse in on itself as the flames licked at the sky. Inside she could hear the screams and please of the people she hadn’t managed to save, the people who mattered most to her. She could hear Alex’s scream above the rest, and her heart threatened to give out on her.

 Alex. The one person in the galaxy who saw her for more than she was. The person who managed to see past the scars she had gained during her time in the gangs, managed to see part the records and harsh words. The man who loved her for herself and not for the scars that lined her body.

 Clutching her gun tightly she sighed before turning to the civilians. “We have to barricade ourselves in. We want to funnel them down towards our position so that they’re easier to take out. Does anyone know of an area we can place our wounded?”

 Hands went up throughout the group and Juliette bit back a noise of frustration. She’d had to deal with this quickly and carefully if she didn’t want to lose the rest of the civilians. Right now these lives were depending on her, even as they watched the building fall apart and listened to the screams of those trapped.

 “Let’s move out.” She murmured quietly, bringing her gun up and lifting her chin.

 Alex’s screams continued as she lead the people away from the building, and she closed her eyes for a moment, and locked the scream away. She’d carry that scream with her forever. Even if she forgot his face, or the way his voice sounded in the morning when she woke up next to him, she’d never forget the way his scream sounded above the roar of flames.

“Oi! Charlie Boy!”

The nickname continued to hurt even after she graduated from training. It raked it’s claws down her heart and tore the already fragile muscle a little more. It continued to remind her of her father, and the way he had looked the night he had died, blood pouring from the gunshot, his face pale and white.

She never stopped to tell anyone about that memory. Never told them why she flinched every time she heard those words. All they knew was that the tough as nails cadet flinched when people called her Charlie Boy. And they tortured her with it.

“Get dressed, Charlie Boy!”

“Do you think you’re fucking invincible, Charlie Boy?!”

She had felt sentimental the day she had gotten her father’s nickname tattooed to her shoulder. Pride had sparked to life when she had taken a shower without her bandage for the first time and someone had asked about it. Had loved feeling her father so close to her for the first time in years.

The other cadet’s blood was running down her curled fingers, sinking into the cracks of her fist. She stared down at it, disgust rising in her chest as she stared at the blood. The boy gasped for air beneath her, his hands cupping his bloody nose. His breathing brought back the memories of her father, and she collapsed to the ground.

And then her instructor called her Charlie Boy, grabbing her roughly by the shoulder.

And she had snapped.